Deso’s bugala-bugala wuli-wuli World

Been sitting here killing time for the past couple of hours. I’ve had quiet saturdays before but never never never this quiet and its killing me! Looking back say 6 months ago..i’d probably be lazing the afternoon away at one of the Midland Brick yards across Perth. Work was pretty good then i have to say.Working as a part time "Forkie" ,(Aussie speak for forklift drivers) my day typically starts at 8am if i remember correctly. Saturdays are typically for the DIY crowd coming in for thier weekend "reno" projects.

Load a couple of trailers,send them on thier merry way and before you know it, its time for me to have my lunch, gas up the forklift, sit back n work on plans to take over the world with the ever accomodating security guy. Who ever said forkies work hard? Looking at this old picture i’m reminded again of how blessed i am to have driven IMHO the best forklift in the world (Yes i’m a geek for all things mechanical) Linde the Mercedes Benz of forklifts lol. yknow wat, i might just write a review of all the forklifts i’ve driven over the years. stay tuned

Had a dream last night. I saw Charlie again. I cant help but feel a teeny bit remorseful about how i treated him during our short but lovely time together. For those that dont know Charlie,he was my pet spider for almost a year before i killed him.(ONLY GOD JUDGES ME :))

Our story began sometime back in january 06, moving into my apartment in perth, i first saw charlie happyly parking his bum on the living room wall  minding his own business, without a worry in the world. Not wanting to freak my housemates out, i knew i had to act fast. I put him into a container and was getting ready to "dispose" of him b4 the girls notice. But i couldnt do it. Those big puppy eyes (all eight of them) begged me to search deep in my heart.

Months past by with Charlie sharing a place in my daily life. Quiet, patient and understanding, he was the perfect companion.I fed him with little insects which i catch in the backyard. Life was good. He kept me company n i kept him alive.

All was beautiful until Ken came along with a spider 2ice as big as charlie one day. Carried away with this new and improved pumped full of steroids Hulk Hogan of a spider, i chucked Charlie markII into Charlie’s enclosure knowing well that he wont stand a chance against this monster.In a blink of an eye, Charlie was gone. Reduced to a rolled up ball of skin n hair,sucked dry of every drop of life.The implications of my actions sink in. With half a tear in my eye, i whispered to Charlie "i’m sorry"…

Days go by with Charlie MarkII in his place.My housemates are calling me an animal. A cold heartless animal. I tried not to think abt it, I tried to like Charlie markII and convince myself that i do not miss Charlie. But the truth is i do miss him. Letting Charlie markII free was all i could to to ease the pain. Seeing him free in the wild brought a small feeling of relief which lasted untill last night.

Seeing Charlie again reminded me of the cold heartless animal that i was. Maybe it was his way of getting back at me from spider heaven (which i believe he is in now) There is nothing that will undo my actions on that day and i will live with the guilt and burden of knowing that i took your life for the rest of my days.


Sacred Heart of Jesus have mercy on the soul of Charlie,
aged unknown, Died on 11/06, May he rest
in peace, Amen.

i’m on the brink…so close yet so far away…the promise of freedom is tempting me..i need to stay strong..soldier on…(4hrs more b4 my last paper for the semester)

wish me luck

hmm..just as i start to think the novelty of is wearing off, I feel inspired to post another entry all of a sudden. Must be the rainy weather. cant explain .. but anyway here r a few things on my mind now

exams are commin in exactly 4 weeks time…1 unit per week? sounds good to me.. except i wont do it.I know

commin back from squash just now (kicked Ben’s ass …AGAIN!), it was pouring down hard n the windows in my pisofshit charade started foggin up BIG time.. some of you smart asses reading this would probably be thinking "doesnt he know turning on the airconditioning solves that?" yeah it would, if i had air conditioning. The only rag i had is soaked in oil (its my dipstick wiping rag)so in the end i was wiping it with my hands n struggled home in the porin rain.I hate my car!MTV PIMP MY RIDE!

speakin bout squash, i’m really unfit. i think i pulled a muscle.now my left leg hurts everytime i try to walk. UUGH I’M SO WEAK!!

4.24AM…working on this heat flow lab report. no i’m not as hardworking at it may seem. just that i’ve been sitting on my bum when i had all week to do it. darn this Tilak fella(my lecturer). anyway not to worry.. gimme another hour or so n i’ll be finished with this and…….and..i dunno wat i’ll do then… sleep probably…yeah most likely. after i hand this in of course..

Fed up.. thats how i feel abt myself. i need to put my feet down n end this slacker lifestyle once n for all. no more procastination. i’ve got 1 mid sem test, 1 lab report, and an assignment to hand in this week. tough but i’ve brought this apon myself for not doing it when i had the time to.ARRGG! i need to start..NOW

its late…1.24 in the morning to be exact. i have a 8am lecture to go to later. will i make it there? odds are slim at best. but i have a feeling (optimism?) i’ll make it. welcome my life…and my never ending struggle to get up for classes..(update: did make it! but only to fall asleep in class..BAD)